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VLADAR TIŠINE
2011/07/15,21:59
Slušam zvuke tišine .

Misli me ponovo sustižu.Jure me kao nekakvu prognanicu.

Shvatam da ja ne bežim od njih.Samo se nekako izmičem,vragolasto vrpoljim.

One mi pričaju o Tebi.

Razmišljam kako je meni uvek bila potrebna određena doza samoće.Bez nje nikako nisam mogla.

Tih nekoliko sati u kojima sam sama sa sobom.Sa onim mislima uz koje pomalo patim ali koje izgleda tako često namerno prizivam.

Naručujem ih kao hranu na kućnu adresu.

Na dostavi uvek ispisano Tvoje ime.

Možda je onaj sa Kipra bio moja najveća ljubav zbog toga što sam uz njega imala tako puno prostora.Bila sam sa njim a opet,satima i satima sama.

Možda si i Ti to što jesi meni samo zato što sam znala da nikada nisam mogla da te imam.

Možda sam ja rođena da budem sama.

Ne,nemoj me pogrešno razumeti.Ne kukam ja sada nad svojom sudbinom .Ja samo počinjem da konačno slažem slagalice mojih osećanja i misli.

Ta neodoljiva potreba za samoćom rezultirala je da nikada ne mogu da budem u vezama koje guše.

Mene guši sve što je 24 h neprekidno,ma koliko bilo lepo ili dobro.

I noćima volim da sam sama.

Da me greju tvoji dodiri koje u isto vreme sanjaš ili zamišljaš Ti.

Volim kada nam se misli sretnu a srca pripiju jedno uz drugo.

Volim i kada samoća po zidovima ocrtava tvoj lik.

Da li to tako samo ja osećam ?

Jesam li ja unikatan stvor koji prelazi granicu ludila ako o samoći snevam i kada sama nisam ?

Da li tako može da se voli ? U tišini ?

Nikada nisam volela sve savršeno i sve srećno u životu

Uvek je moralo da bude ono nešto nesavršeno,greška...

Da...upravo greška koja život čini zanimljivim

Pomalo sam volela svoje tuge

Pomalo ih i prizivala kada ih bilo nije

Opet ...izgleda da neki ljudi jednostavno nisu stvoreni za druge polovine

Ti ljudi sami sa sobom čine savršen sklop

Retkima dozovole da se uvuku u njihove pukotine

Možda oni ne umeju da vole

A možda...možda jedino oni to umeju

Nije ljubav to što si sa nekim neprestano zajedno

Što jedete,pijete,zadovoljavate ostale potrebe

Ljubav nije zadovoljavanje potreba

Ona se izdiže iznad njih

Zato...zato se najbolje voli u tišini

Gledam u Tvoje odraze

Kao da ništa ne dostaje

Najgore od svega je što ne znam da li bih volela da ponovo budeš tu kraj mene

Ili da te zauvek ovako volim ...

Dok sanjam u tišini

Ne mogu ni sa tobom ni bez tebe

Opet...večni si vladar moje tišine

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