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Dragi moji
Zimsko hladno vece.Ponovo osecam jak bol u glavi.Vetar mi se uvlaci u kosti.Trazim stan.Jos uvek.Nista nije dovoljno dobro za mene i moje dete.Znam sta zelim ali sve sto sam do sada pogledala ne uklapa se u moju sliku.Onda shvatam.To je zato sto on vise nece biti sa nama.Moje dete i ja zivecemo sami.I kakav god stan pronasla slika u mojoj glavi uvek ce biti drugacija.Konacno se vracam kuci i gledam iz tramvaja svetla reklama.Stize jedna poruka od njega.Pa druga.Kada je otisao smatrala sam da je razlog tome suvise banalan.Suvuse detinjast.Suvise mali.Sada shvatam da je taj razlog bio samo maska za druge koji su se vremenom verovatno mnozili.Ali ih ja nisam uocavala.Sada u svakoj njegovoj poruci primecujem poneki novi.Mozda su to bile sitnice koje cine svaki zivot,brak.Mozda mu se nije dopadalo kako kuvam,nacin na koji sam provodila slobodno vreme.Mozda je mrzeo sto sam tako cesto pisala a nista od toga imala nisam.Mozda nije zeleo da odemo u inostranstvo onoliko koliko ja.Mozda mu se nije dopalo sto sam se stalno zalila kako sam premorena jer odgajam dete gotovo potpuno sama.Mozda je postojalo jos niz svakodnevnih sitnica koje su se cinile tako nebitne a koje opet cine jedan brak.Za svo to vreme ja sam bila ubedjena da je sve savrseno,da smo stvorili topao i siguran dom.Da se on nikada nece raspasti.U sopstvenoj glavi sam stvorila savrsenu sliku koja verovatno nije bila ni blizu onoj u stvarnom svetu.A sada sedim i gledam kako se njeni delovi rasipaju i vetar ih nosi sve dalje od mene.Sve dok potpuno ne izblede i odnese ih zaborav.Ne odgovaram mu na poruku.Raci su u ovom trenutku suvisne.Potreban je samo pogled,mozda dodir i onaj sjaj u ocima koji govori da li sam se varala citave tri godine braka ili ta slika iz moje glave uopste nije ni postojala.
Uz zahvalnost sto ste i veceras bili samnom darujem Vam recept za kis.
Potrebno
pakovanje smrznurog lisnatog testa
oljusten svez paradajz ili sok od paradajza
1 konzarva tunjevine
1 glavica crnog luka
suseni bosiljak
bibier
50gr rendanog kackavalja
Odmrznuto lisnato testo rastanjiti sto je vise moguce.Staviti svaki list u nepodmazanu okruglu tepsiju i izbockati viljuskom na vise mesta.Staviti na njega najpre paradajz,pobiberiti i preko toga staviti tunjevinu,pa preko njih kolutove luka pa narendati kackavalj.Testo koje viri preko ivica vratiti kao gornju koru te malo nagnjeciti viljuskom.Peci oko 25 min na 180 stepeni.
Prijatno!!!
Voli Vas Vasa Tanjana!
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